A young Cebuana who wears eyeglasses. 19 years of being noisy.I speak according to the things I see and hear. Aspiring DOCUMENTARIST. Mass Communication student major in tri-media. Filmmaking♥ Photography♥ Nail Arts♥ Documentary Films♥ Nutella♥ almonds♥
Photos from FLICKR are originally mine. ;)
This night, I caught myself crying while looking at his picture on my phone. I don’t know why I am still so attached to him that I easily get so sensitive when it comes to him. Actually, I should be happy because the unreal love that I gave to my ex- boyfriend is now over and all those span of time of pretending scenes is now over. All is that I should be facing right now is that on how will I forego my feelings for my real love. It’s been more than a year since I had this feelings for him and in that span of time, I have told him how I feel towards him several times, but it seems that time, faith and destiny is not in our favor. Why does he have to be so bipolar of his actions to me? He gets so sweet and sometimes not. He ignores me and sometimes he is so caring. How I wish he could directly tell how he feels for me to clear things up.
So, it seems that I am the one who is patiently waiting for him, though I already knew that this waiting would mislead me into a terrifying ugly truth of reality. Reality speaks louder than the whisper of fairy tale that I was hoping to and it is really slapping me without pacing.
No matter how hard I push myself to ignore my heart’s calling; I just can’t dictate it nor command it. And no matter how hard I try to refrain myself from replying to his texts and answering his calls, I just can’t.
Kanang feeling nga ikaw ang dako nga makasasala sa inyon relasyon gani.?
Bisag one month pa among relasyon, bisag unsaon nako og tudlo akong kasing-kasing ug huna-huna nga higugmaon nako siya dili gyud nako mahimo. Tinuod, gisugot lang nako siya tungod nasakitan nako sa akong feelings nga sige og chase sa usa ka laki nga walay gugma nako. Gihimo lang nako siya nga “panakip butas”.
Maikog ko makigbuwag niya tungod iya nako gipa ila-ila sa iyang pamilya ug sa iyang mga kababata. Wala koy nakita nga bati sa iyaha. Buotan, sweet, caring, obedient ug manggiampingon sa relasyon. Matawag nako siya nga perfect nga uyab. Apan sa matag kanunay nga mupahayag siya sa iyang gibati dinhi sa ako “I love you” wala koy lain ma feel kundi ang ma guilty sa matag kanunay sad nga reply nako og “I love you too”.
Sa matag adlaw sa among relasyon, iyang gipa feel nako kong unsa ko ka special sa iyaha. One time, naa ko sa Argao for two days kay naay gibuhat nga film project ug dala pud laag, then nagka away mi at okay ako sya giaway sa text nya ako siya giingnan nga paapason nako siya sa Argao. Sa walay pag duha-duha niapas siya nako nya siya taga Carmen.
Naay one time nga ako siya gipangutana if buwagan nako siya unsa iya buhaton, iya ba ko buhian or dili. Iya ko gitubag og “I don’t know” ako siya gipangutana og kong ngano, iyang ko gitubag nga dili siya musugot magbuwag mi kay dili siya mubuhi nako bahala na daw.
Karon, ganahan ko makigbuwag niya apan mahadok ko ug maluoy niya kay malas siya diri kanako kay siya nagtinarong nya ako wala. Dili man nako intension nga pasakitan iyang feelings, ako man gipugos nga higugmaon siya apan dili gyud matudluan ang kasing-kasing ug ang utok.
To be honest, dako pa gihapon akong paghigugma atong laki nga hinungdan nga gi panakip butas nako akong uyab run. L L JCEC Lisuda bitaw I move on labaw na siya imong first love. :( :( :(
And I said YES. But not to the guy I love, but to the guy who loves me. Sounds confusing, I know. I’ve waited for the guy I love for so long to finally hear from him that he also love me and that he needs me in his life, but the long wait turned into such drastic hopes. My confession of feelings…
And I said YES. But not to the guy I love, but to the guy who loves me. Sounds confusing, I know. I’ve waited for the guy I love for so long to finally hear from him that he also love me and that he needs me in his life, but the long wait turned into such drastic hopes. My confession of feelings for him didn’t work out, but even though, I still really love him so badly that even if I already gave my eyes to an another guy my feelings for him is still inevitable and fire burning.
How I wish it was him who owns me. How I wish it was him who wants me. How I wish it was him who loves me. :’( </3
Just tell me that you love me and will never get a second thought of breaking up with him.